Clint Dempsey scores the first ever EPL hat trick by an American as Fulham steamrolls Toon 5-2.
Guys, I’m only going to say this once. The perfect time to join me on the Fulham bandwagon is right now, prior to Friday’s FA Cup match against Everton.
Pay no attention to the fact that Fulham is basically mediocre and also maddeningly erratic, as evidenced by their 3-1 loss a week ago to a terrible Blackburn side that was played most of the match with only 10 men.
Pay no attention to the fact that they play in an ancient (though picturesque) wooden (!) stadium called Craven Cottage (!!), in front of which a grotesque statue of Michael Jackson (!!!) has been installed by the club’s owner.
And pay no attention to the repeated claims by Rog Bennett of the amazing Men in Blazers podcast that Everton is actually “America’s Team”. Or the fact that Tim Howard and Landon Donovan are currently playing for Everton, and that Edson Buddle may also join the team.
All that you need to remember is that Fulham has Dempsey, and also that their manager, Martin Jol, looks like a human nutcracker.
Friday, 3pm Eastern. It looks like the game’s not televised in the US, so you’ll have to rummage around in the dark places. Wear your Johnny Haynes jersey.
